let it snow let it snow December 24, 2007

musi: lena horne- let it snow

except it wont snow because its sunny and warm. Doesnt feel much like christmas eve, let me tell you that much, but i’m so excited to have meg and justin over for my first dinner party in my own apartment. I made delicious christmas cookies that turned out fantastic, they’re sugar cookies sandwiched with strawberry jam in the middle, dusted with icing sugar, and i just finished them and they are all plated and wrapped in plastic waiting for my guests. i made a plate up to bring for the other teachers at my school too.

I’m just waiting to hear from justin and meg to be absolutely SURE they are coming tonight before i go spend the rest of the money i have on groceries for tonight (no worries though, i get paid tomorrow). I have wonderful plans for appetizers and mashed sweet potatoes and lots of christmas deliciousness.

i had a delightful day/night to myself yesterday. went to the mall and completely finished my christmas shopping, had a starbucks coffee, then came home, cleaned my entire apartment for my guests, as much as i hate cleaning its so rewarding to have a clean space. Then i watched how to marry a millionaire and home alone, looked up some recipes in preparation for tonight… had some trouble falling asleep, probably excited.

Woke up at like 4 this morning and could not for the life of me fall asleep so i watched a couple of sex and the city episodes. I think, as much as I feel like it’s not really christmas, my body is in christmas mode. I can never sleep around christmas at home. usually christmas eve, that’s when i wake up at like 4 and watch a christmas story as its on rotation for 24 hours on the superstation. My body and mindset are set on christmas, but really nothing else around me really is, it’s strange. The japanese get into the christmas thing, i mean there are decorations everywhere, but the actual day isnt a big deal.

anyways, i played dress up yesterday with all my old clothes i thought i would never fit into again, and they all fit, perfectly. i brought them here with the hopes that maaaaaybe one day i would be that size again. and tada. even my grey pinstripe dress. i put it on and it looked awesome. i was so happy. and i’m so proud of myself.

anywho, i’m sure i’ll post more later when i’m waiting for my guests to arrive! yui is going to come after work as well. it will be so much fun.

anyways, merry christmas everyone, i love you, happy holidays, you are all in my thoughts and heart. xoxoxo

December 20, 2007

music: Iron and wine- love and some verses

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what exactly brought me her.
Was I trying to run from something? Or was I trying to find something? What was I trying to escape, and what was I trying to find?

I think the answer to both of those questions is…. myself.

no matter the distance, i’ll always be a little far to reach December 17, 2007

just enjoying a coffee and an apple on my monday off.

there is a little taste of heaven in something japan calls fuji apples. They have natural honey in the middle and are absolutely delicious. i love them.

Its beautiful outside, fall jacket weather, and sunny. it feels like that sunny first day of spring when its still cool but nicer than it was all winter. except its the opposite. My dad sent me pictures of the huge snowstorm back home, its crazy how different it is here. I enjoyed my night in last night, much needed, watched the science of sleep (which i absolutely loved by the way) went to sleep at like 11. it was nice, and my body is thanking me.

So it seems as though meg and justin will be coming down to okazaki to spend christmas eve with me! i could not be happier. Meg and i will make a delicious dinner, we will drink wine and i got a recipe for egg nog, dammit, so we will drink that as well. I cant wait. It was really kind of bumming me out, thinking about not having any plans for christmas, but this has made me so excited. i cannot wait to see both of them. going to dye my hair in a few minutes, clean the bathroom, write some more emails, watch noel. basically have another me day. and there’s nothing else i’d rather be doing.

your face is faded but lingers on December 15, 2007

music: iron and wine- love and some verses

I’m glad this week is over. Today was one of the most stressful days of my entire existence. I had a trial class, two observations (where students sit in and watch an entire class to see if they want to take it), one with the parent there as well, and an extra class on top of my usual 6 class saturdays. I was stressing out for the entire day. I arrived at work an hour early to prepare, worked through my lunch… but its over and that’s the important thing. My last student of the day gave me a piece of cheesecake that she made, wrapped all cute for christmas. kind of made my day.

I realized today that the mirror i carry with me in my purse was broken. I hope to god i didnt break it and it just somehow happened on its own. im not extremely superstitious but i cant help but feel a little sick about it.

Its damn cold here. the kind of cold that hurts your bones. my apartment is taking ages to heat up tonight. My bar of soap in the bathroom has tiny buds of ice on it.

I want to do absolutely nothing this weekend. I promised kanika i would meet her for coffee tomorrow in nagoya. i was excited to stay in bed until whenever the hell i wanted, but she needs me, and i know she would meet me if i needed her, so i’ll be there. I plan on returning right home afterwards, renting some movies, cleaning, reading, writing, having one of those weekend i havent had in a long time.

It doesnt feel like christmas is so soon. I’m trying hard to get in the spirit, but its a little bit difficult when i dont know what my plans for the actual day are. Also, snow seems like a distant dream. This morning was beautifully sunny and i stood on my balcony and had some coffee in only my pyjamas. but like i said, the night is biting cold. I dont understand the weather here.

I wish egg nog existed in japan.

… i realize i dont really have much to say.

si la photo est bonne December 13, 2007

music: iron and wine-each coming night

Okay, so lindz and ashleigh and leah (the new teacher at lindz’s school) came to visit me. We had a fun filled day of shopping and street drinking and ferris wheeling and fancy dinner’ing in nagoya and then went out dancing. I had a few too many and i dont really want to talk about that again, except to make the realization that a) my tolerence has gone waaaaay down in japan and b) im taking a break from drinking for a few weeks. seriously. those pictures are far from cute.  a lesson learned.

I love thursdays, they are so easy, very few classes, and then it’s my hump day, so all i have left after is friday and saturday and then its the weekend. Im definitely doing a whole lot of nothing this weekend, my body needs to relax, do some reading, some cleaning, some yoga/pilates, plus im pretty broke until next pay, so even if i wanted to do anything, nooo such luck.

meg and clinton and laura come soon! i cannot wait, it will be like having pieces of home with me as my mom said. i cant wait to see them. then a nice long vacation. very excited to see kyoto, all i’ve heard from everyone who has been there is that it is absolutely paradise. it will be nice. I’m definitely needing a vacation right now. I love my job, but it’s getting a little tiresome. as much as i love routine, i need to break it up a little bit. theres so much more of japan i need to see too. there’s this entire world within the world here, and i dont want to miss a single part of it.

love. love. love. December 8, 2007

music: sarah vaughan- nice work if you can get it

Just enjoying my morning coffee as per usual, and its even more enjoyable because it’s a saturday which means it’s the weekend. I have my two stressful classes today, but other than those, saturdays are now smooth sailing, so I’m not TOO worried. and then, TOMORROW: lindzy and ashleigh (who has finally arrived in japan for her fun-filled year of amazingness) journey to nagoya station to meet me and spend a fabulous day and night in nagoya, we will obviously stay out until the wee hours of the morning, then catch the first train in the morning back to okazaki, catch a few hours of sleep in my apartment, then i can show them around my hood and then we will head back for them to catch their early evening buses back to their cities. I cannot wait for a weekend with my guelph ladies! I’m thinking the ferris wheel in sakai, my favourite restaurant “the kitchen” in nagoya station with the most incredible view of nagoya, shopping, frolicking the city, drinking, dancing. Oh my heart is aflutter!

it don’t snow here, it stays pretty green. December 7, 2007

music: Harry Conick Jr.- Let it snow

I love mornings in japan. I wake up extra early, put on a pot of starbucks coffee, some Harry Conick Jr. make some toast and miso soup and relax.  Lately the mornings are when I feel the most content with my life here. And that’s just the perfect way to put it. content, comfortable. It really feels like home. I cant express how much i love my apartment. Its not close to being finished decorated, i still need more artwork and decorations for my big empty walls, but I just love the place. It has this great aura or something ( oh my god, i’m turning into such a hippie, thanks kanika). But i love everything about it, i always make sure it smells nice. I try to keep it as clean as possible (i know, shocking). I just love hanging out in here. im happy to come home at night, and I’m happy when i wake up here in the morning. And if i move my coffee table I have more than enough room for a dancefloor. what more could a girl ask for? I love living alone. as much fun as roommates can be, there’s something about coming home to your own apartment. to nice peaceful mornings by yourself. Sometimes I can’t wipe this smile off my face, but why would I even want to?

ghosts of what should have been December 5, 2007

Music: Last christmas- jimmy eat world 

had a pretty great weekend. Somehow struggled through the week of intense parent observations, of course wasnt as bad as expected, but my skin went on strike and i now have as a result, a few new friends sprouted from my chin.

Yui and i went out saturday night to celebrate, first i went for a delicious dinner with her family. Her parents are amazing, so sweet, i wish i could actually talk to them, but they can’t speak english, and i cant speak japanese, so there is just lots of smiling and translating care of yui and eating and drinking. it was great. then yui came over, we drank some wine, got ready and went out to a couple bars in the area. a very fun night. woke up feeling less than perky and the two of us went out for breakfast and coffees. we both then went our separate ways to bed, i woke up around 1:30, got showered and presentable and headed to my mall as i was in need of some starbucks coffee grinds, having finished mine that week and that stressful week WITHOUT starbucks coffee every morning was probably the worst thing i’d ever experienced. I had a solid shopping day, picking up a few things for myself as well as others and even actually physically WROTE. while sitting in starbucks, i actually put a pen to paper (and not to write a lesson plan) but wrote an actual, real-live entry in my journal. crazy.  Perhaps the reason is a few emotional developments that happened recently, and that is as as far as i will take it in here…

anyways, there is this store i love in the mall, called heart market. cutest casual clothes ever, super expensive, never bought anything there, but i always go in. part of the reason is the one adorable employee who works there who i may have a giant crush on. So i went in saturday, looked around, gave him a little smile.. and then.. he said something to me! i didnt hear him, so i said “sorry” and then he said “you’re pretty.” in english. my heart exploded. i said thank you and smiled and hurried out because i’m terribly awkward and dont know how to talk to boys anymore. i walked by the store again later and he smiled and waved. too cute. definitely made my day.

came home, had dinner, watched a movie, and then monday i headed to nagoya to go to lush to get some moisturizer and mac to get some coverup. good day, it was rainy and blah, but i love nagoya because it’s all decked out for christmas right now, and it kind of reminds me of toronto at this time of year except way cooler.

yesterday i was thinking about how much i’ve changed already here. i listen to jazz regularly, i sing along to billie holiday, word for word when i’m walking down my street, i drink soy milk, i eat tofu, i do yoga, i watch french films without subtitles. who am i now? seriously? i think i used to hate people like me now. but actually, i like this me a lot better.

OKay, i need to finish my breakfast and coffee and be on my way. but i will talk to you all soon. love you all! xo

can we become more than just ourselves? November 29, 2007

Today wasn’t too bad, a few parent observations which gave me minor heart attacks, but everything went alright. Tomorrow is going to suck, i have some intense observations i am not looking forward to, but then it’ll be saturday, and for once saturday seems like a breeze since observations are done, and then its the weekend!

New years in kyoto with lindzy, clinton and laura is booked and done and i cannot wait! so excited to spend a japanese style new years with some of my bests.

I want to talk more about japan itself and my life here. I live and work on Jazz street. the area around my school is constantly playing jazz music while you walk down the sidewalk, i love it. The street itself is known in okazaki as jazz street, what more could i ask for. I think im going to love winter here. This morning before i clocked in, i went around the corner to grab a hot coffee from a vending machine. I really liked the way it felt, being in the city, in my peacoat and a scarf and a suit, walking between tall city buildings. I felt like a grown-up… I think I have done more growing up in the past three months than I had in an entire year back home. ..

Speaking of which, did i talk about the vending machines here?? either way, i’m going to do it again. There are drink vending machines every five steps. They have both hot and cold drinks, usually coffee black or with milk and sugar or cream etc. and different blends, some lattes or cafe au lait, different kinds of teas, also both hot and cold, sports drinks, coke, juices etc. everything you could ever want. its amazing. food vending machines are few and far between, the most common food vending machines (at least in this area) seem to be ice-cream vending machines. actual food vending machines seem to generally be at rest stations with things like french fries and other deep fried foods. from a vending machine. i know. so weird. They are obsessed with convenience stores and they are like every two blocks and open 24 hours so you pretty much dont need food vending machines. and you can buy booze there. 24 hours a day.

anyways, I really love my manager at work. When i have breaks between classes we talk about food and wine and she tells me about the places she has been and I talk about the places i Want to go. We talk about paris and new york and shopping… We have this really great connection. I want to ask her to go for lunch with me one day, to that awesome restaurant Yui and I went to, fromage, because I know she would love it, but I’m not sure where she stands on hanging out with her staff, seeing as she is our boss. I just know we have so much to talk about and we get along so well, but i dont want to cross any lines… I bring her little presents sometimes, like i know she loves starbucks so i brought her little christmas starbucks cookies and i bought candy canes from an import store i found in nagoya, so i brought her one. I hope she doesnt think im kissing her ass, i just genuinely like her as a person and appreciate everything she does for me. i would really like to hang out with her outside of work. i dont know what i should do there.

Anyways, i realized last weekend i really miss male companionship. not in any sort of romantic way, just the fact that the majority of my friends back home are guys, and here, really, all i have is mike, and we all know how i feel about that situation and we pretty much dont associate outside of work anymore as to ensure my sanity is maintained. but i miss guy friends! Most western guys ive met in my area (all two of them) are lame, and the japanese dudes ive met have been too busy planning our marriage within 5 minutes of meeting me. I just want to meet some cool guys to hang out with. I love my girl friends to death, dont get me wrong, but we all know how different guys are. I guess i just need testosterone in my life! i work with 7 girls and one guy (who like i said, doesnt count). I really wanna meet some cool japanese guy friends (who can speak english). Because a) japanese guys are generally just sooooo cool. like, i cant even describe their fashion sense because it makes me excited inside. its like they know every single thing we wish boys would wear back home and then bring it to life. and b) japanese friends are generally much cooler than western friends (obviously minus my kanika and lindzy) but lindzy agrees, the majority of westerners you meet here = lame central.  so, operation make japanese guy friends needs to commence.

So anyways, tonight i plan on watching a little something called It’s a wonderful life, taking’er easy and then going to sleep. tomorrow is going to suuuuuck.

im the one who gets away November 27, 2007

i apologize for my lack of actual journal entries telling what i’ve been up to, but i’ve been fairly busy, and spending the time in my apartment mainly relaxing (and not wanting to write)

I miss writing prose. My fingertips are itching constantly and my mind is always clicking, creating clever lines but i can never find the time or energy to actually write them down.  Whenever i get the overwhelming urge to write its bad timing and i cant get to my computer or a notebook so i write something beautiful in my head and remind myself to remember it, but i never do. I need to stop that. This is the time when i should be writing.  I learn a million new things about myself and the world every single day here.

Why is it that bands keep putting out the perfect life soundtracks? When i moved here, tegan and sarah’s the con was the perfect accompanyment to my homesickness and trouble adjusting. Now, Jimmy Eat World’s Chase this light is absolutely perfect. Guaranteed if i wasnt here i would hate it, but i’m telling all my friends in japan, please, put this album on your ipod, go for a bike ride through your neighbourhood and tell me you dont feel  something. i promise you. its a damn good album. these bands keep getting in my head and writing the words i cant put to paper. at least they’re making it easier for me.

Last week was awesome. Parent observations really werent bad at all as most of my classes with small kids are mommy and me classes meaning the mom is always there, so they werent any different. the actual observations i had went fine. Wednesday night yui picked me up from work and we went to the mall for some starbucks then went out for a glass of wine at a cute little restaurant near her house. Thursday night was our party night, as i had friday off work. we went for a really nice expensive dinner at this little french/italian restaurant near my work where we drank a delicious chardonney and ate white pizza and pasta (japan is carbsville, even the non-japanese food, somehow, someway i am able to fit into ALL of my old clothes from when i was tiny last summer. shocking, i know, i love you japan) and then after dinner we had a cheese platter!! OH HOW I HAVE MISSED GOOD QUALITY CHEESE IN MY LIFE. it was heaven.  We then headed to an izakaya where some awesome japanese business dudes joined us and then paid for our bill. score. the next day i somehow pried myself out of my bed and headed to the mall to do some christmas shopping, not extremely successful. my weekend was spent relaxing, movie watching, visiting my little kanika in nagoya, more christmas shopping, got my flu shot yesterday, cleaned my apartment…

Oh, i got myself the cutest little christmas tree. its just past my waist and its all silver and pink and purple and stupidly girly and i love it. i wish i could hug it, its so adorable. I wanted to buy little white christmas lights for it yesterday but i couldnt read the boxes as to whether they were indoor or outdoor lights and i didnt want to risk setting any sort of fires in my life, so i skipped out on them.

I just finished reading White Oleander and it was one of the best things i have ever read in my life. i know its terribly obvious and cliche to be a girl, at my age, and love that book, and oprah recommends it and all that crap, but seeeeeriously, its amazing. like i have not read a stunning piece of literature like that in ages. i’ve read a ton of woman coming of age stories that try, and could only dream of coming close to what that book achieves. I wanted to highlight every other line  so that i could remember them. ..

now i’m starting “Charles Dickens- A Christmas Carol and Other Christmas Writings” because i’m a gigantic nerd and i’ve never read a christmas carol and i wanted a christmas book to read and this was the only thing i could find in the tiny english section at the bookstore in nagoya which is the only bookstore i have found thusfar with actually ANY english section, even though theres a bajillion thousand bookstores in japan. Take note: PLEASE SEND ME BOOKS.

on that note: here are my mailing addresses!

if you are sending me letters or postcards etc. please send to my apartment at:

#202 White Cloud III

Motonomi-Cho, Okazaki

Aichi 444-0063

JAPAN

and for packages (i like packages by the way), please send to my school:

Okazaki Amity

Barakan Takaba 1F

1-3 Honmachi-dori

Okazaki-shi, Aichi 444-0051

JAPAN

oh, and i bought christmas soap from lush and it makes me happy inside.

 i need to write in this more often because so much more happens every day, but then i leave it until i have a bunch of things to talk about and then i just graze over everything briefly. I miss all the details. i love the little details. i dont want to forget the little details.